[X] My Assistant

After a recent chat with Dlaglacz, we decided that we want to fix another wrong, which in this case is the lack of Dragon Pink manga translation.

There are only two variants of Episode 1 (more or less) translated:

http://ehentaihip.com/g/109375/b9e5cf6b62/
http://ehentaihip.com/g/214542/072ab2b9cd/

This, to us, is not acceptable. We want to get all four volumes translated:

http://ehentaihip.com/g/18676/005605c251/



http://ehentaihip.com/g/18677/ccb45c61d7/



http://ehentaihip.com/g/18679/eba80be6c6/



http://ehentaihip.com/g/18680/a5306dea28/



Before I post the bounty, I want to get input from interested parties on some technicalities. Namely:
* do we want to translate by episodes (that's what the manga calls its chapters), or volumes? Doing it by the episode may involve more micromanaging, but could result in faster progress (10-20 pages is less scary than 167). At the same time, SS project has shown that yes, we can get longer volumes done as well.
* do we want to reuse the translation from episode one as it is, reedit it, or commission a new one?

EDIT: v1 finished, v2 bounty, chapter 1: http://ehentaihip.com/bounty.php?bid=4700

This post has been edited by Red_Piotrus: Dec 29 2011, 13:12

I would recommend you do commissions for each episode. Speaking for myself, I'd be willing to do episodes here and there as one-offs if I have time and/or am bored, but a whole volume would be too much. Of course, if someone steps up and says they'd be willing to do an entire volume or even the entire series, you can renegotiate the terms with him, but getting this done piecemeal will probably get you faster results.

Agreed. So I will soon post the bounty for Episodes 1 and 2 (separately). But before that, I'd like to hear some comments from translator(s) on the current translations for Ep 1. Yes, it has been done twice, but I am not content with either.

Comparing the two available translations, I think I like the official (?) better, both with regards to language, and editing. But the scan is crappier, and there are still some places I am not sure if the translation was the best possible. 3 time out of 4 I think official is better, but occasionally I'd chose CiRe's. Still, in many places the translations are quite different, if not for the same names and general intent, I'd wonder if CiRe's work isn't a rewrite. What do you guys think? I'd welcome the translator's opinion on certain items. Consider:

*page 0a: missing from official / CiRe / org: missing SFX at the top
*page 0b: missing from official / CiRe / org: missing SFX in the middle
*page 1: official / CiRe / org: I think the official sob is better than wah; I like the SFX ching and bling; and I think that pink is better than the peach-colored...?
*page 2: official / CiRe / org: I like the SFX is official (hustle, bustle, glimmer, yawn, gulp) - all ommitted from CiRe's version. But WTF are "the Howard Johnsons"? CiRe's "inn" is at least clear.
*page 3: official / CiRe / org: note the much cooler shop name in official; I am not sure if Naughty Points or EXP are better (more true to the org?)
*page 4: official / CiRe / org: more professional editing at official again, plus CiRe missed one SFX (ptu!)
*page 5: official / CiRe / org: SFX aside, the difference between some comments is huge; I think I like official translation better - funnier? And bondage seems more correct than "rope".

I don't feel like spending one hour linking the remaining pages for the three translations, and discussing them, but I think it is more clear what I expect (in particular: translate all the @$%% non-moan SFX, thank you).

In any case, we need the Episode 1 with better editing, so might as well have it properly translated. By somebody who cares, I hope.

EDIT:

bounty for Episode 1: http://ehentaihip.com/bounty.php?bid=4392

bounty for Episode 2: http://ehentaihip.com/bounty.php?bid=4393

This post has been edited by Red_Piotrus: Sep 14 2011, 14:54

The "official" English version is not a word-for-word literal translation from Japanese. The translator took a fair bit of freedom with his work and that is why it flows a lot better. It conveys generally the same meanings as the Japanese version though, and I like the way he did it.

As for the EXP and Naughty Points, the Japanese actually reads "Hentai Power".

I'd be happy to pick up the translation of some of these episodes, but I'm not exactly sure how you want them. Free or literal?

In my opinion, more literal than free would be good. The official translation was probably aimed at English-language readers who have no understanding of Japanese culture, no desire to learn anything, and probably no idea that the work was even Japanese in the first place. At general market, so the lowest possible denominator for sex to sell. I think people who read hentai translations on average know much more about Japan, and so they don't need as much replacing of Japanese lifestyle quirks with American (for example).

I'd keep Hentai Power, because translating it as Naughty Power makes us lose the fact that its shortcut is HP, which usually means HitPoints, ie. remaining life in games like the one that's played in episode 1.

Also, the less literal it is, the more it becomes a rewrite, not a translation.

But that's just my opinion, I don't know what Red_Piotrus would prefer.

I agree with Dlag's in principle, but I'll just say that occasionally, I think the official translation flows better because of grammar But that could be just a "feel", and it varies from bubble to bubble.

What about the rope vs bondage issue?

I agree with Dlag's in principle, but I'll just say that occasionally, I think the official translation flows better because of grammar But that could be just a "feel", and it varies from bubble to bubble.

Well, as long as it doesn't lose information on the way

What about the rope vs bondage issue?

What 'rope vs bondage' issue? I searched for word 'bondage' in this topic but found none.

What about the rope vs bondage issue?

Well, it actually says "rope" in the Jap version. But that's the thing isn't it, because "bondage" is more to the point.

I'd like some further clarification on SFX. In general, when I do SFX I don't do much more than transcribe them into romaji. The reason (other than the fact I'm lazy) is because the vast majority are onomatopoeia and IMO sound retarded when you try to find an English equivalent. So I guess the question is, is giving the SFX in romaji sufficient or do we have to fully translate them as well?

With regard to the rope vs. bondage issue, I would have gone with rope as that is a much more literal translation of the original. There is a perfectly good Japanese word for bondage (shibari) and Itoyoko chose to use the word for rope (nawa). Anyway, tbh if I pick up an episode I'm not even going to look at the official/CiRe versions. If we were starting from Episode 2, I would follow one of the two, but since we're starting from Episode 1, I would disregard both of them.

ETA:

and look, two translators disagree

This post has been edited by rookie84: Sep 16 2011, 19:05

What 'rope vs bondage' issue? I searched for word 'bondage' in this topic but found none.

As in these:
http://ehentaihip.com/s/fb16329bec/109375-5
http://ehentaihip.com/s/51dd18a600/214542-10
http://ehentaihip.com/s/5382de819d/18676-10

I'd like some further clarification on SFX. In general, when I do SFX I don't do much more than transcribe them into romaji. The reason (other than the fact I'm lazy) is because the vast majority are onomatopoeia and IMO sound retarded when you try to find an English equivalent. So I guess the question is, is giving the SFX in romaji sufficient or do we have to fully translate them as well?

IMO they do sound retarded, and I prefer literal, or untouched SFX. But then, I'm used to reading them in Japanese, and I can't understand why anybody won't spend a few hours to learn hiragana and katakana once and for all It's only 47 or so sounds each, nothing like kanji So I'm not the person whose opinion should matter when it's translation.

Rope, as it was rope in the original.

and look, two translators disagree

We would all agree the original says "rope". Sometimes though, when you know what the author is getting at, and if the translator can paraphrase things a bit it makes the product much easier to read.

I'll make a start on Episode 1 and I'll post it up here when it's done so you guys can have a look to see if that's the type of translation you want. Is that alright?

I'll make a start on Episode 1 and I'll post it up here when it's done so you guys can have a look to see if that's the type of translation you want. Is that alright?

You're taking Episode 1? Okay, I'll take Episode 2.

Although I'm not doing any of these projects (yet), I thought I'd give my two cents on the whole rope vs. bondage issue. I haven't looked thoroughly through the different volumes yet but from the examples given here, it's pretty clear that rope is a more appropriate word. You really can't misconstrue that for bondage since there's literally nothing to 'bond', it's just a piece of rope laying there.

So I did the translation in a more literal sense and everything in the Japanese version has been loyally translated. Feel free to have a read and throw me any comments you have.

Personally I like translations that are more free and expressive though, like the one they did with the "official" version. I enjoy reading translations that are rather creative. There's people who translated things like Faust and Iliad into English, and still made each line rhyme. I doubt they translated those word-for-word, but when I read the English version I wouldn't worry about what the original phrases were exactly, as long as the general artistic idea is the same. I just need them to make the English lines sound good.

Script:

Pg05
SFX *beep*
Please choose your name and class

Name Santa
Class Hero

Name Bobo
Class Warrior

Name Pierce
Class Sorceress

Pg06
=What should I let her be?
Name
Class
=This is going to be exciting

=Ooh! This is it! This is what she’ll be!
=ge [note: as in the last two syllables of the word “Mage”. the Japanese here reads かい, which (from guessing) is the last two hiraganas of まほうつかい, the Mage class] Merchant *Slave* Bar [note: again, I am guessing the complete Japanese should read “barbarian”]

Name
Class *Slave*
=Wait a minute

=and her name will be Pink!
Name *Pink*
Class Slave
=Eeeehhn, you are mean

Pg07
Panel 1
SFX: *beep*
Adventure begins
Panel 2
SFX: Pa
SFX: *sob sob*
Panel 3
=Ah, Heroes, you have finally come my aid. Actually, there is a favour that I would like to ask you to do. I cannot explain my purpose, but
=Far West from here resides a Pink Dragon, and I would like you to bring me the Pink Sphere that the dragon treasures
Panel 4
=These are not much
SFX: Jala
=But please take them to cover the cost of your journey

Pg08
Panel 1
SFX: wai x 4 [note: if having trouble to make sense of, use “*chatter* x 4”]
Panel 2
=Uh oh, This is all we have left after purchasing three wooden swords.
SFX: kira [note: or *glimmer*]
Panel 3
=We can’t even stay in a inn with this.
=Fuwaa
Panel 4
SFX: doki [note: or *heart thumping*]
Panel 5
=Pink-chan, come over for a sec
SFX: *grab*
=Ahn, ouch

Pg09
Panel 1
=Ahn~you are so mean~
(text on shop plaque)
Item Shop
=Come again
=Hehehe, scored
Panel 2
=Baka!
=Give me my cloth back!
Panel 3
(kanji in black box)
Hentai Power 10
=Shut your arrogant mouth you slave
=He’s the worst jerk
=Agreed
=Ahn~

Pg10
Panel 1
I don’t want to be naked
Panel 2
SFX: pe
=Jeez, such a whiner
Panel 3
=Hn?
Panel 4
Rope
Panel 5
=I’ll give you clothing that suits you, Pink-chan
Panel 6
SFX: doki

Pg11
Panel 1
=Ah, Ahn
SFX: Giririri [or *tighten up*]
Panel 2
=Ahee~
=This is tight~
Pink has remembered the taste of the rope
Hentai Power 35
Panel 3
=Hahaha, you are going to wear this rope as your cloth from now on! You hear me!?
=Ahn

Pg12
Panel 1
=Hey, we haven’t got all day here. Hurry up and let’s start the journey.
SFX: *boin boin*
Panel 2
=Okay, right
=Alright, before that we’ll go to the inn
Panel 3
=We don’t know whether we’ll make it back alive
=and I don’t want to die a virgin
Panel 4
=Let’s do it and leave no regret!
(words above Pink’s head)
Ehhhn~
=Ahn~Help~
(Girl)
=He’s such an idiot!
(Guy)
=Agreed

Pg13
Panel 1
=Noooo
Panel 2
=No~I don’t want this~~~
=Stop, please~~~
Panel 3
SFX: *gulp*

Pg14
Panel 1
SFX: biku [note: or *twitch*]
=So, so this is the pussy…
Panel 2
=Nooo
Panel 3
SFX: *turn*
=Open it up more
Panel 4
=Ahn
Panel 5
=Kyaa~kawaii
SFX: *peel*
Panel 6
=it hurts
Panel 7
SFX: toro [note: or *drip*]
=Oh, it’s getting wet
Panel 8
=Nooo, don’t look
Panel 9
=Let’s see your little clit
Panel 10
=Ah x 2
Panel 11
SFX: *rub*
Panel 12
=Aahn

Pg15
Panel 1
=Woah~~~I can’t control myself anymore
SFX: pin pin
Panel 2
=Pink, eat my cock! now
SFX: bito [note: or *boin*]
Panel 3
=it’s disgusting~
Panel 4
=Mmhguu
=Shut up, no more whining, a slave only exists to serve

Pg16
Panel 1
=ooh……ugu ugugu
Panel 2
SFX: *twitch* x 2
=Hey, use your tongue more, not the teeth!
Panel 3
=I…I’m getting wet somehow
SFX: Kucha
SFX: *slimy*
Panel 4
=Bobo, give me your big cock
=Fuu
Panel 5
=Hahn <3
SFX: *thrust*

Pg17
Panel 1
=Ah, Ahee~
SFX: *splash splosh*
Panel 2
(words inside black box)
Pink has remembered the fellatio technique
=N~~~~N~~~~
=You’re doing a good job, Pink. Suck harder!
Panel 3
=Ooh, I’m cumming
Panel 4
=Don’t leave out a single drop, drink everything
SFX: *swallow* x 3

Pg18
Panel 1
=Ue…Uee…I’m feeling sick
Panel 2
=Shut up, the real deal is only starting
SFX: *Push*
=Hee…
Panel 3
SFX: *shove*
=Noooo
Panel 4
SFX: gu gu gu
=it hurts x 2
Panel 5
=Gyaa
Panel 6
=it hurts…noooo
SFX: *thrust*

Pg19
Panel 1
=it hurts
=Ahee
Panel 2
=It hurts, stop, ah
=Ah ah

Pg20
Panel 1
=Ah ah
Panel 2
=Hah, hee
Panel 3
=Hah x 2
=Bobo, great, you’re great
Panel 4
=Hah
=i…
=ikuu
Panel 5
=Hah
=Ku hah

Pg21
(top)
Aaah
(left)
Ikuu
(right)
Heee

Pg22
Panel 1
SFX: *squirt* x 2
Panel 2
SFX: byuu x 2
Panel 3
=hah x 4
=ah, that was great
Panel 4
=Hah……Sex feels totally awesome
=hah x 2
=I……I didn’t know it was this good. I’m going to keep doing it until my stamina runs out for today!
SFX: waku waku [note: or use *excited*]
Panel 5
=Kyaa

Pg23
Panel 1
=Pink, let’s have another shot!
SFX: *splash splosh*
=Yahn<3
=Ahn
Panel 2
=Ah
=Ahn
Panel 3
=Uga
=Pink! Why the hell are you the only one who levelled up?
=Baaka
(small text below panel 3)
She seemed to have made a bikini out of bed sheets
(text inside black box)
Game saved
(text below black box)
Dragon Pink 1/Over

Although I'm not doing any of these projects (yet), I thought I'd give my two cents on the whole rope vs. bondage issue. I haven't looked thoroughly through the different volumes yet but from the examples given here, it's pretty clear that rope is a more appropriate word. You really can't misconstrue that for bondage since there's literally nothing to 'bond', it's just a piece of rope laying there.

Your leveling speed is scary......

Your leveling speed is scary......

That's the main reason why I didn't have much time to translate bounties lately.

Okay, so i'm gonna do SS for now, unless you want this chapter done really quick, should I send the chapters as they come along or just one big lump?

This post has been edited by Super Shanko: Sep 17 2011, 08:15

I reckon doing it in a big chunk would probably be easier. I'm just leaving it for Red and Dlag to have a look so they can decide whether the script is what they're after.

I'd like some further clarification on SFX. In general, when I do SFX I don't do much more than transcribe them into romaji. The reason (other than the fact I'm lazy) is because the vast majority are onomatopoeia and IMO sound retarded when you try to find an English equivalent. So I guess the question is, is giving the SFX in romaji sufficient or do we have to fully translate them as well?

Well, if romaji is self-explanatory... but often it is not. Just like we don't simply convert kanji to romaji, but actually translate, I think we should translate the SFX which are not clear. Perhaps we need more examples to see if we agree or disagree? I'll just say again that I think SFXes were done very well in the "official" version. I like what c7 did, with both the romaji and the translation in some places (now, can we fit both in the edited text...?). But if I have to chose, I'd chose the translation over the pure romaji.

As in "SFX: kira [note: or *glimmer*]" - the glimmer part, to me, is much more useful than kira.

With regard to the rope vs. bondage issue, I would have gone with rope as that is a much more literal translation of the original. There is a perfectly good Japanese word for bondage (shibari) and Itoyoko chose to use the word for rope (nawa). Anyway, tbh if I pick up an episode I'm not even going to look at the official/CiRe versions. If we were starting from Episode 2, I would follow one of the two, but since we're starting from Episode 1, I would disregard both of them.

Which is why I'd like to establish at least some consistency; I'd hate to have one episode with EXP, one with Naughty Points, one with Hentai Power, and so on...

ETA:

and look, two translators disagree

Aaargh

So I did the translation in a more literal sense and everything in the Japanese version has been loyally translated. Feel free to have a read and throw me any comments you have.

Personally I like translations that are more free and expressive though, like the one they did with the "official" version. I enjoy reading translations that are rather creative. There's people who translated things like Faust and Iliad into English, and still made each line rhyme. I doubt they translated those word-for-word, but when I read the English version I wouldn't worry about what the original phrases were exactly, as long as the general artistic idea is the same. I just need them to make the English lines sound good.

I agree with those sentiments, certainly. One thing to add would be to have the characters/parody "stay in character", use the established names, and so on.

Okay, so i'm gonna do SS for now, unless you want this chapter done really quick, should I send the chapters as they come along or just one big lump?

I'd say as the come along; once we have the entire volume done, we will replace the individual galleries with the volumes.

Editing bounty for DP Ep1: http://ehentaihip.com/bounty.php?bid=4403

I'll post a bunch more bounties in the near future to get them out of the way.

This post has been edited by Red_Piotrus: Sep 17 2011, 09:16